Sacagawea Meets the Third Reich

If you should find your seven-year-old son's long lost Sacagawea coin, he might launch into a whole slew of questions about who she was and why she wound up on a dollar coin.

Being a former history teacher, you'll launch into a long-winded discourse on Lewis and Clark, President Jefferson, the geography of the Mississippi River, Mark Twain, Manifest Destiny, and They Might Be Giants' rendition of James K. Polk.

The boy who clearly has not watched Night at the Museum often enough.

When a discussion of western expansion makes the seven-year-old's eyes glass over, you'll back up and talk about the thirteen original colonies and the American Revolution.

When you mention the Pilgrims and the Puritans, he'll manifest vague but hopeful signs of recognition, and this will prompt you to ask whom we fought in the Revolutionary War.

He'll scratch his chin and furrow his brow and then offer "Hitler?" in
a quizzical voice.

You'll be forced to bang your head on the nearest flat surface.

Hard.