1. Selectively Deaf:
What I said: Turn on Dora for Ainsley.
What he heard: Fire up Despicable Me.
3. Totally makes up for #1:
John: Teach me to read, Tim! Teach me to read!
His first word? T-i-m.
Says growing teenage boy: Taquitos, hmmm, steak and cheese. I'd better have one . . . or four . . . better make it five.
4. Missing in Action: one fish, went by the name of Tony Stark.
5. Devoured by his tank mates: another fish, went by the name of Tony Stark II. So much for the Fraternal Bonds of Tankhood.
6. Warning: If you get the allusion in #5, you've watched too many Disney movies.