Nervousing Me

Ainsley sidles up to me, clearly perturbed.

"John's nervousing me," she says with a pout.

The nature of his offenses remains unclear, but I've got to say, it's the rest of the family that's nervousing me.

I'll start with Tim who's Learning to Drive! All things considered, the process is nevousing me much less than I would have predicted, but he's Learning to Drive! A car, no less! Nervousing!

Then there's Kolbe . . .  The boys' swim coach came up to me during practice to tell me that Kolbe had failed to execute a shallow dive off the starting blocks and had executed a deep one instead . . . . in four and a half feet of water. Nervousing! Way nervousing! When you scare the experienced swim coach, that's bad, really bad. Nearly all my concerns about swim team revolved around logistics -- the cost, the daily practices, the marathon meets. And then there was the issue of shallow diving which just flies in the face of everything I've ever been taught about diving. I have prayed every day for safe diving. Thanks be to God, Kolbe is safe. The only casualties are a scrape on his arm and his mother's blood pressure.

We have at least a temporary solution: For the time being, Kolbe will not dive off the blocks.

And then there's Ainsley . . .  Just as my heart rate was returning to normal after the news of Kolbe's diving escapades, I realized I couldn't find Ainsley anywhere. I checked the woods, the girls' bathroom, the top of the slide . . . no Ainsley. I ordered the big boys to search in opposite directions and nearly chewed one of their heads clean off when he offered a minor objection.

Kolbe found her. No harm done.

The ride home was full of prayers of thanksgiving and Kolbe trying to lift my spirits by telling me of his latest writing endeavor . . . a screenplay about a foiled terrorist attack, a take off on one of our favorite movies, The Indian in the Cupboard. The working title: The Libyan in the Cupboard.

I could scarcely control the van I was laughing so hard.

They're all nervousing me, the whole lot of them!

But they also make me laugh.