1. The Army has an adage I really ought to take to heart: Never volunteer for nothing. I suffer from Can't Keep Your Hand Down Syndrome, and I'm sure it dates back to elementary school when Hermione Granger types like me just couldn't keep their hands out of the air.
As a result of this syndrome that has lingered into middle age, one of the items at the top of my To Do List was Order Kazoos. If I'm going to Throw in the Trowel, I think I'd better not fill in the gap with a hundred other little jobs.
2. A friend invited me to lunch. I declined explaining that I had just polished off six Taquitos. You see, Taquitos are to snack food what Thin Mints are to cookies. Translation: Don't bring them into the house.
All of these food related confessions should underscore the fact that my Weight Watchers' efforts are not going swimmingly; in point of fact, they are not really going at all.
I like Weight Watchers because:
a) It's how I lost my post-Kolbe baby weight.
b) Nothing is off limits. Normally if you say diet, I think donut (even if I haven't thought donut in six months).
c) It requires very little in the way of special foods.
d) It's good for the whole family.
e) It costs money.
I'm just cheap enough that if I'm paying for something, by golly, I'm going to do it. Except that I'm not. There is a Weight Watchers' zone, a Weight Watchers' way of thinking, a Weight Watchers' detachment from items such as Thin Mints and Taquitos.
I haven't found the zone.
3. Five, I've decided, is a most excellent age. John is 97% delight these days.
4. We've encountered some problems of the automotive variety -- one cheap, one not. We were carless for a brief while and then borrowed a friend's wheels. Now, as Ainsley tells me, our car is sooooo fixed. Hopefully they'll both stay that way.
5. Listen carefully and you'll hear the sound of a hammer that is not my husband's. Yes, our friend David is finishing the bathroom redo for us.
I ran up to Lowe's to get something or other in the bathroom aisle and was confronted by at least three and possibly six vanity/sink combos that suddenly appeared way cooler than the one we had just installed. I hope that dark wood doesn't show water spots. Why did I get a white sink? That one has a cool basket . . .
I finally managed to shut my bad self right up, but, goodness, what is wrong with me? The older I get, the less decisive I am.
6. "When am I going to be grown up," Ainsley asked me the other day.
"Not for a long time," I told her.
When she was sick a few weeks back, she walked up to me looking pitiful and asked, "Would you rock me?"
Well, forget whatever it was I was doing. We rocked. And now she likes being rocked. And her mother couldn't be happier to hold on to one last vestige of babyhood because she's also drawn to things like mascara:
7. For Dave's Mom: We really did find a Dave Lyle Boulevard sign on the side of the road, and I really did pull over and nab it.