Tardis Pinewood Derby Car

So Derby Season is upon us. Dave arrived home in the nick of time. I can surf the web for ideas. I can sand and paint. But I can't use powers tools (and I have no desire to learn).

Ergo, The Pinewood Derby is Dave's baby.

In the hours before Dave's return, John and I sat in front of my I-pad as I Googled variations on "Quick Pinewood Derby Cars." Problem was, Google thought that by Quick I meant Fast when, in reality, by Quick I meant: Easy, Requires Minimal Effort, Will Not Involve Spray Painting at 1:00 a.m. or Blow-Drying at dawn.

I tried "Pinewood Derby Cars You Can Make in an Hour."

Yield?

Nothing.

Google does offer a naked car with a decal that reads "My Dad Wouldn't Help Me." You know, I think I'd be good with that. But where The Pinewood Derby is concerned, I am simply the Quartermaster, the purchasing agent, the suppliers of stickers and spray paint and possibly a cold beer.

In my four years of blogging, I've had a handful of posts that have gone fairly far into cyberspace. "Viral" would be a gross exaggeration, but some posts get shared and re-shared.  Funny enough, a frequently shared post is When Dr. Who Meets The Pinewood Derby.

Of the roughly twelve cars we've produced, this was by far the coolest and -- get this! -- it was incredibly easy!

Here's what makes this car easy:

• It's a rectangle!
• It's one color!
• The writing and windows were printed off the Internet and glued in place!
• The window frames, I think, were pre-fabbed balsa wood we picked up at Hobby Lobby for a song!
• We didn't finish it in an hour, but compared to other cars, this baby was easy, easy, easy!

It is everything that this car isn't:

To the untrained eye, this probably doesn't look all that complicated, but, please, trust me when I say don't try this at home.