Here is an exact transcript of my little pre-Mass meditation on the significance of our Lord's triumphant procession into Jerusalem:
Okay, kids. Today is Palm Sunday. Who can tell me what this means? Never mind, I'll tell you. It means NO SWORDS. NO POKING THE LADY IN FRONT OF YOU. No nibbling, no peeling, no sticking them in your sleeves and pretending to be Wolverine. No trying to balance them on the back of your hand. No trying to fit them into the screw holes in the pew. Do not suck on them, do not wind them around your neck, do not scratch your back or clean your nails with them, and do NOT whip your little brother with them, not even one time! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Then, when we got home, I confiscated them all, wiped the spit off them, and reverently put them on top of the refrigerator with the expired children's Tylenol, old bank statements, and noisy space guns that we didn't want to hear anymore.
My thoughts exactly.
Read the rest here.