Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Throwback Tuesday - In the Merry Month of May

May . . . it's here!

Brace yourself.

I've often pondered the many, many real life lessons a truly useful book on mothering would include. I'm not talking about standard fare -- potty training, vaccinations, pacifiers and that lot. No, my chapters would include real life issues. Sharpies: Keep Them Far, Far Away. Fat Cheeks: Kiss Them Often -- They Disappear Way Too Fast. Nerds and Fun Dip: Which Is the Veritable Spawn of Satan? Gift Bags and Other Horrors.

There would be a long, long chapter on the merry month of May.

See, no one warns mothers about May. We all know December is busy. It's busy if you're single, married, a mother, not a mother, home-schooler, school-schooler.

But May catches us unaware.

And actually I believe May starts around April 15th. If you have a child receiving a sacrament, just back it all up to April 1st.

Tim came home the other day and announced he has Senioritus. Let the record reflect that he is a sophomore. We are entering the homestretch. Parents and kids alike need a dose of grace, an extra measure of fortitude, and that all important sense of humor to cross the finish line.

Here is an almost-end-of-the year pondering from a few years back.

School is grinding to a halt.

In a discussion board recently, a mother was weighing the pro’s and con’s of homeschooling. A wise woman gave her this advice: Don’t evaluate anything at the end of the year.

So true!

School’s almost out for summer. The students are done; the teachers are done; the parents are done. Homeschoolers are ready to abandon ship and -- you know what?  -- school- schoolers are in the same boat.

It is with a heart full of gratitude and tongue firmly planted in cheek that I offer the following  Really Compelling Reasons to Homeschool:

1.       You need never dash to the Dollar Store at 10:00 to pick up poster board.

2.       Permission slips? Unnecessary.

3.       Two words: Spirit Week.

4.       Two more words: group projects.

5.       You never get the dreaded note from the teacher.

6.       Two tone shoes? Not a problem!

7.    You never have to break the news that, no, a Great Pyramid built from brownies probably won't garner any extra credit points.

8.      You’ll never be seen using a brown Sharpie to camouflage the contrasting stitching on your son’s new oxfords.

9.       Half birthday celebrations? Your call.

10.  You never hear, “But all the other kids get Hot Pockets, Lunchables, filet mignon with hollandaise sauce, fill in the blank.”

11.   You never run the risk of a stress-induced stroke as you attempt to transform the diorama of Picket’s Charge into a model of the Gobi Desert.

12.   If your kid’s haircut reminds you of Davy Jones or Peter Tork or any of the Monkees, hey, hey, that’s your affair.

13.   No need to ponder the pivotal question: 
Was that the first bell or the second?

Happy, safe, and blessed summer to home-schoolers and school-schoolers alike! Extra blessings to teachers everywhere.

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