Compelling Reasons to Homeschool

School is grinding to a halt.

Tim came home yesterday and announced, “I’m done!”

From here on, it’s party time in the middle school. And all I can say to that is: 1) Thank the merciful Lord that it is much cooler than normal, and 2) God bless those teachers. It’s hard to teach at the end of the year; it’s much, much harder to supervise lake trips and field day and pool parties.

I baked cookies for the middle school principal who, I am convinced, worked his way out of Purgatory in a span of 48 hours. In my book, he’s been dubbed Saint Dennis of McBride. On Friday he helped make and deliver over a thousand egg rolls with a kitchen full of eighth graders smelling like cabbage and grease. On Saturday he took the same bunch (hopefully all showered) to an amusement park three hours away and arrived back home just before 2:00 a.m.

In a discussion board recently, a mother was weighing the pro’s and con’s of homeschooling. A wise woman gave her this advice: Don’t evaluate anything at the end of the year.

So true!

School’s almost out for summer. The students are done; the teachers are done; the parents are done. Homeschoolers are ready to abandon ship and -- you know what?  -- school- schoolers are in the same boat.

 It is with a heart full of gratitude and tongue firmly planted in cheek that I offer the following  Really Compelling Reasons to Homeschool:

1.       You need never dash to the Dollar Store at 10:00 to pick up poster board.

2.       Permission slips? Unnecessary.

3.       Two words: Spirit Week.

4.       Two more words: group projects.

5.       You never get the dreaded note from the teacher.

6.       Two tone shoes? Not a problem!

7.    You never have to break the news that, no, a Great Pyramid built from brownies probably won't garner any extra credit points.

8.      You’ll never be seen using a brown Sharpie to camouflage the contrasting stitching on your son’s new oxfords.

9.       Half birthday celebrations? Your call.

10.  You never hear, “But all the other kids get Hot Pockets, Lunchables, filet mignon with hollandaise sauce, fill in the blank.”

11.   You never run the risk of a stress-induced stroke as you attempt to transform the diorama of Picket’s Charge into a model of the Gobi Desert.

12.   If your kid’s haircut reminds you of Davy Jones or Peter Tork or any of the Monkees, hey, hey, that’s your affair.

13.   No need to ponder the pivotal question: Was that the first bell or the second?


14. Last but not least . . .   Superhero day on the second from the last day of school? So totally not happening!

Happy, safe, and blessed summer to home-schoolers and school-schoolers alike! Extra blessings to all who call themselves teacher.